Constant Opinions

As a work at home mother, one of the things that can drive me nuts is people talking about how stay at home moms are taking us backwards from all the gains made by feminists. I happen to feel that that is utter nonsense.

The kind of feminism I subscribe to is that women and men should have choices. I know stay at home moms and stay at home dads. Neither group tends to be lazy, but society tends to be hard on both. Probably harder on the SAHDs than the SAHMs, but it’s still not easy to be either.

Whether you choose to be a stay at home mom or a work outside the home mom, you’re going to hear from somebody that you’ve got it all wrong. Working moms are neglectful of their kids. Stay at home moms are wasting their educations. They’re lazy. Unfulfilled.

I happen to disagree with both of those camps. I see mothers of all stripes trying to do what they feel is best for their families and themselves.

Of course, stay at home moms are starting to get more opportunities to continue to bring in money for their families, and I don’t mean by selling Avon or any other stereotypical home business. The internet has opened up all kinds of possibilities for stay at home mothers, from telecommuting from their old jobs to starting businesses of their own.

This aspect of being a stay at home mom tends to be ignored in these debates all too often. Yet, as a work at home mom myself, I can’t help but see it as a major consideration.

But I still do not look down upon the strict stay at home moms. I’m a firm believer in being able to make decisions for oneself, and that means not being pushed into something that I don’t want to do by anyone. Not feminists. Not people who feel that moms ought to stay at home.

A stay at home mom can be a feminist by making sure that all her children know that they have options. Women have options. Men have options too.

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Filed under: Controversial